What Is Stimming? Why People Stim, and What Actually Helps

Do you click your pen when you're bored? Or bounce your knee under the desk? Twist a ring round and round your finger while you wait for the kettle? Most of us do something like this without thinking, and that's stimming.

Nearly everyone stims, but it matters more to some people than others. For many it's just a passing habit. For others including a lot of autistic and ADHD people, it's an everyday tool for staying calm, focused and comfortable. And because stimming isn't always well understood, it's often something people get told off for or feel they have to hide.

At Fidget Toy Store, stimming is at the heart of what we cater for. We have a dedicated range of stim toys, and the people who use them vary hugely: children who struggle to sit still in class, adults keeping their hands busy through long meetings, and autistic people who rely on them every day. Their feedback about what helps and what doesn't has shaped this guide.

What is stimming?

Stimming is short for self-stimulating behaviour. It means repeating a movement, sound, word or action because it helps you feel settled, focused or just good. You'll also hear it called self-regulating behaviour, which is closer to what it actually does. Doctors sometimes use the terms "stereotypy" or "repetitive behaviour".

Everyone stims in some way. Behaviour analyst and author Dr Mary Barbera puts it simply: "We all stim." She points out that hobbies like shooting hoops on your own or practising the piano work in much the same way. You do them because the action itself feels rewarding. Experts think that's partly down to dopamine, the brain chemical linked to reward and motivation.

Think about the last time you sat through something dull. Perhaps you doodled, scrolled your phone or jiggled your foot. Your brain was looking for somewhere to put that excess energy, and your body found it.

For me, stimming shows up most when I have to sit and listen. Put me in a long meeting with nothing in my hands and my attention drifts. Give me a fidget toy and I can follow the conversation far more easily. It's not a quirk. It's how my brain works best.

What changes from person to person is how often it happens, how strong the urge is and how much someone relies on it. That's where autism and ADHD come in.

Is stimming a sign of autism?

Stimming is closely linked to autism, but stimming on its own doesn't mean someone is autistic. Repetitive movements, speech or use of objects are part of the official criteria doctors use to diagnose autism (the DSM-5). But a diagnosis looks at the whole picture, including communication, social differences and sensory needs.

Everyone stims, but autistic people tend to stim more and for different reasons. For many, stimming is less of a habit and more of a need. It's how they stay calm in a loud room, focus on a hard task or show how happy they are. It's a way of coping with a world that often feels too loud, too bright or too fast. Yet it's often misunderstood, told off at school or hidden at work.

Many of our customers are autistic and we've sent fidget toys to a number of charities that support neurodivergent people. The feedback is always the same: they help a lot. Having a few to choose from gives people somewhere to put their energy, whether they're watching TV, getting through a task or communicating with someone. For some autistic people, fidget toys are what make everyday things doable.

Stimming and ADHD

I was diagnosed with ADHD in my mid-twenties and started using fidget toys to help me focus a couple of years ago. They helped hugely, hence why I started this store! But I'm not the only one they help. Fidget toys have become increasingly popular with the ASD & ADHD community, and with people who just find it hard to concentrate. These days there's always something pulling at our attention, it's no surprise more people are reaching for ways to stay focused.

With ADHD, stimming is often less about calming down and more about keeping your brain in gear. When something's boring, your attention just slides off it. Chris, an autistic YouTuber who also has ADHD, describes it best: "the more my brain is chugging and building up steam, the more my body has to move."

Nobody's 100% sure why it works. One strong theory is that it's linked to dopamine, the chemical your brain uses for reward and motivation, which works differently in ADHD. Lots of people are both autistic and ADHD, so one stim can end up doing both jobs at once.

You'll see stimming with anxiety too, as well as sensory processing differences and some genetic conditions, like fragile X syndrome.

Hidden stims you might not notice

Not all stims are obvious, things as common as tapping your foot, clicking a pen, chewing a hoodie string or playing one song on repeat can all be stims.

So how do you tell a habit from a stim? Look for three signs. Autistic stims tend to happen more often, more intensely and for longer.

Many autistic people, especially women and girls, learn to hide their stims to avoid stares. It's one reason autism can be missed for years.

Swapping a stim for a safer one works better than hiding it. A child who plays with other people's hair, for example, might carry a soft, fuzzy keyring that gives the same feeling.

Types of stimming

Most stims come down to one thing: giving a sense of the input it's looking for. It might be touch, movement, sound or something to look at.

Most people lean towards a few types, and these can change with mood, age or surroundings. The table below shows the main types, what they look like, and the toys that suit each one.

Stims you might not realise are stims

Lots of people think they don't stim, then they find out how many everyday "quirks" count. In a popular thread on r/AutismInWomen, hundreds of autistic women shared the stims they only spotted later. The most common ones were:

• Finger patterns: touching each fingertip to the thumb in the same order, over and over

• Side-to-side swaying: rocking sideways instead of back and forth, especially while standing in a queue

• Wrists and feet: rolling the wrists, walking on the sides of the feet, wiggling or scrunching toes inside shoes, rubbing feet together in bed

• Ripping and folding: tearing straw wrappers, bottle labels or receipts into tiny pieces, rolling paper into balls or adding to a ball of foil

• Fiddling with what you're wearing: twisting rings and earrings, playing with a necklace, rolling up a hoodie string

• Phantom typing: tapping out the same word on the desk as if using a keyboard, or playing "air piano"

• Busy hands: doodling in meetings, knitting, crochet, origami

• Sounds and songs: one song on repeat for weeks, saying a word because it feels nice to say, copying the doorbell or the cat

• Touch hunting: brushing every hedge on a walk, or stroking every soft jumper in a shop

• Mouth stims: chewing gum all day, crunchy food, biting lips or cheeks

Some had already found their own tools. One wears spinner rings on her thumbs. Another never leaves the house without a bracelet of smooth glass beads to rub. A third, after breaking several TV remotes by fiddling with the battery cover, simply said: thank goodness for fidget toys.

Voice stims deserve a special mention also. Repeating words you've heard is called echolalia. Repeating your own words is called palilalia. Often it's about the feel of the word as much as the sound. People repeat a favourite phrase until it feels just right to say, and that can be really calming.

Stims can also be quieter than any of these. Rewatching the same scene, playing one song for hours or even drifting off into a daydream can all do the same job.

Want to know more about the senses behind these stims? Our guide to sensory toys explains all eight.

Why do people stim?

People stim because it helps them manage what's going on inside and around them. The reason can change from one moment to the next, even for the same stim.

• To calm down. Stimming can turn down the volume when sound, light, crowds or emotions get too much.

• To get more input. Some people feel senses too strongly (hypersensitive). Others feel them too weakly (hyposensitive) and stim to get the input their body is missing. Many people swing between the two.

• To focus. A repetitive action can keep a busy brain on track, which is why so many people fidget while they think or listen.

• To release energy. When restlessness builds up, a stim gives it somewhere to go.

• To cope with change. Moving from one task or place to another can be hard. A familiar stim brings a sense of sameness when everything else is shifting.

• To show feelings. Hand flapping and bouncing are often pure joy. Stims can also show stress, frustration or excitement when words are hard to find.

• To communicate. For people who speak little or not at all, stimming can show others what they're feeling and what they need.

In a 2019 study, autistic adults said stimming helped them soothe or express intense emotions and thoughts. Some people describe an itchy, restless feeling under the skin that only stimming settles.

Find out what works for you

Everyone stims in their own way and there's no right or wrong way to do it.

The best stim is the one that helps you feel settled, focused or just good! Explore our stim toys to find the ones that suit you.